December 2009 Newsletter
November 24, 2009
Book Review
by Cheryle Jones Andrews
Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want, by Ronald J. Frederick, Ph.D.
“How do you feel about that?” the therapist asked.
“I don’t know,” replied the client.
How is it that babies come into the world knowing exactly how they feel and never hesitate to express their feelings, but by the time those same adults enter a therapy office they’re just confused about feelings? According to author and psychologist Ronald J. Frederick, Ph.D , those babies have grown up to become adults who are anxious about their feelings.
Ask yourself if you do any of the following:
Smile or laugh when you’re actually feeling sad, angry or afraid
Feel embarrassed or ashamed for feeling something you “shouldn’t”
Worry that you won’t be able to stop crying, that you’ll lose control or go crazy
Avoid angry feelings until it’s too late, and they end up coming out in a messy explosion or temper tantrum
Dismiss your accomplishments or ignore the good feelings
If so, then you likely find it very hard to feel close to the people you love, to share the ups and downs of your life, to give and receive
support – in short you’ve forgotten your inborn ability to communicate authentically.
Frederick asserts that our innate feelings have the power to transform our lives – but only if we choose to embrace them and realize their gifts. In his very readable and helpful book, Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want, Frederick guides readers to learn to be with and share their feelings to transform their lives.
In Part I: Preparation, Frederick helps readers explore and raise their awareness of a tendency to avoid feelings. He shares anecdotes from the lives of clients to examine how the innate power and wisdom of emotions has eroded. Frederick asserts:
If we could find the courage to truly be with our feelings, to pay attention
to them and heed what they’re telling us, we would probably have a clearer
understanding of what we should do. We might also discover the motivation
and energy we need to move forward and make a change.
What follows in Part II: Taking Action, is Frederick’s four-step approach to overcome feelings phobia and to recover the powerful wisdom our bodies hold.
It is through our feelings that we find our authentic self. When we avoid or deny those innate feelings, we deny who we are and sacrifice our true potential and power. This book can help you begin the journey to recovering your wisdom and power.