March 2010 Newsletter
February 23, 2010
I recently acquired Raising Our Children to Be Resilient, by Linda Goldman. This book is purposefully directed towards helping children cope with the violent and increasingly troubled world they encounter every day. TV, video games, the news, movies, terrorism images and security checks, fear, insecurity, separation, family instability, the list goes on and on….. these are real situations and issues young and older children have to deal with on a daily basis in this world. Helping a child grow and develop a sense of self that is secure, healthy, happy and stable is fundamentally important for the survival of our families and society.
Recognizing the importance of values such as empathy, compassion and peaceful solutions goes a long way in helping to understand and recognize the differences in each other, cultures, religions and world views without prejudice and knee jerk judgment calls. Parents and primary caregivers are the primary models for children. They look to them as a barometer of their own vulnerability or safety. Remaining calm and realizing the influence your reactions and words have is basic to raising secure and stable kids.
Resilience, the key word in the title of this book, is defined as the “ability to bounce back quickly from illness, change or misfortune; buoyancy.” Resilient children are created and nutured by the experiences and people they encounter in early life. Bouncing back is good, but there has to be a good place to bounce back to. “As parents, educators, and other caring professionals, we may ask how we can identify, nurture and instill the qualities of adaptability, tolerance, patience and fortitude in our children within their ever changing environment,” says Goldman.
Three important factors that can help with creating resilient children:
- Their perception of and involvement in the world they live in.
- Coping strategies to deal with the hits life brings them.
- A safe and secure environment where they share ideas and are listened to.
Whether it is spiritual, religious, social, community or family, resilience is key to survival and for healthy coping. It isn’t something that can be dropped on the stove and cooked up this afternoon. It takes a determined and informed effort on a broad palette of values, virtues and visions to create Resilience in our children and to adopt it as a goal for ourselves. I suggest the above book for parents who are feeling they need some ideas on helping their children negotiate life’s rough terrain.